


Brazen

by artemisfae



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisfae/pseuds/artemisfae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz is arrested and Red tries to find a way to free her. Lizzington</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Role Reversal

**Author's Note:**

> This is my new one! Should be 3-4 Chapters. However, I was excited that I could fulfil my Liz is in the box with Red visiting her fantasy,lol. Only two episodes left?! I have no idea what I will do.  
> Disclaimed, as always.

He paced like a madman. He was talking so fast that Dembe had trouble keeping up.

Raymond Reddington was agitated and on the war path.

“Dembe, Lizzie is in that box and the only reason she is still there is that I might need the FBI after this. Otherwise, I would simply storm the place and kill anyone standing in my way.

We both know the Post Office’s weaknesses. Anslo Garrick proved that vulnerabilities exist. It would take a matter of minutes to exploit them once again. The FBI, being the government funded operation that it is, has yet to fix said vulnerabilities.

I’m going there tomorrow and I am going to get a lay of the land.

As much as it burns me to see her held, those people know her, they’ve worked with her for the past two years. They won’t mistreat her, no matter that the cabal has marked her as dirty.”

At least that is what he kept telling himself. Any other option was unthinkable.

 

*****

 

The next day, when Red visits the post office, he is met by Ressler at the door. “You shouldn’t be here. Your deal is only still in place because I’m sure they haven’t gotten to you yet. She is fine. I know you want her out, but DOJ is looking to use her as an example. We both know that this whole operation isn’t clean, so I’ve been guarding her myself.”

Red’s smile was all teeth. Anyone looking would think he was in a jovial mood.

Anyone that truly knew him would see the murder in his eyes.

“Dear Donald, I thank you for that, but let me let you in on a little secret: You work for the government. Nothing is clean.”

Ressler is wary, resigned, but says “Let’s get this over with.”

 

 

When Red walks down the stairs, taking the exact same journey that his Lizzie did long ago, he is unprepared for the wave of pure lust that shot through him at the sight of her.

There she was, head held high, shackled to his chair, tracking his every movement as he once did her.

When he stopped in front of her, she had a smirk on her face.

“We should really stop meeting up like this.” He barked a laugh.

“It does seem that one of us is usually shackled. That person isn’t usually you, sweetheart.”

At his comment, she flickered her eyes in the corner of her cell. He shook his head almost imperceptibly in return.

Suddenly she smiled back at him, a real genuine smile. “A wise man once told me that fortune favored the bold.”

At the blink of an eye, he was all business. “Ah, yes. You have been a naughty girl, Lizzie. Or should I call you Masha.”

She let those words sit for a moment, tried to regulate her breathing.

He knew damn well what his voice did to her.

“Maybe when I get to Cabo, you can…discipline me.”

He nodded again. Message received. He should look into an incident in Cabo and her stay here was temporary, they were planning on moving her.

He looked behind him to make sure the guards weren’t close enough to prevent his next move.

He walked right into the cell with her.

It was a calculated move. The FBI could have easily shut them in together.

Donald was nice enough to have the room cleared of monitoring personnel, but one never knew when a knife to the back would come. He was vitally aware that one was always there, ready to betray them.

He walked right up to her, so close he could reach out to touch her.

His palms itched to do so.

The feel of her skin, her body, a topographic map etched on his heart.

His hand, steady and sure, raised as if to touch her face, but she jerked her head back and glared.

“This meeting is over. Get out before you end up with a fancy new pair of bracelets as well.”

He wanted her to look at him, so she could see everything inside of him that he couldn’t say.

She couldn’t look at him because he would see everything she wasn’t telling him.

Sighing, he turned to walk away, but wanted to reassure her that he was working on her freedom before he left. He didn’t know when he’d get a chance to see her again.

“I’ll be fine, Reddington. You don’t need to worry about my interests. I knew what I was getting into. There’s only one way the Director can hurt me and we know how that worked out.”

When he looked back to reply, she was finally making eye-contact, but her face was an impassive mask.

What she said was to worry about himself because the only way they could hurt her was to hurt him.

After the release certain information on the fulcrum, they knew it wouldn’t be prudent to make another attempt on Red’s life.

He was going to reply, but she shook her head and looked briefly over his head.

They weren’t alone anymore.

He left, but not before he heard her nearly inaudible whisper “I love you”

 

*****

 

Later that evening, Red was meeting with his tech team to figure out where Lizzie was going to be transferred to and what the hell Cabo san Lucas had to do with anything when Dembe received a phone call. He turned away and left the room for privacy.

_Good,_ Red thought, _maybe we’ll get some damned answers._

“Raymond. We have to leave. Now.”

Red knew something went horrifically wrong, but there was only one thing he knew Dembe would interrupt his meeting for- _Lizzie._

They rushed out of the meeting, but Dembe stopped him before they left the building. Away from any witnesses.

“Raymond. Wait. Aram called to report that Elizabeth was killed in an escape attempt during her transfer to a secure holding facility.”

With one sentence, his entire world lost color. Black spots danced across his field of vision.

But no matter the grief that threatened to consume him, he needed proof.

“We need to go back to the Post Office.”

 

**Tbc…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teams tells Red what really happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I am horrible, but Red suffers so beautifully. I can't help it. Warning: it gets much worse before it gets better.

Dembe drove like a maniac, tearing through the streets of D.C.

Red was thankful for his erratic driving, really.

Being fearful for his own life was quite effective in gaining him the perspective needed to calm down.

Lizzie couldn’t be dead.

They lied to move her. It was that simple.

He was out of the car before Dembe had even stopped fully.

The team was waiting for him.

They all looked like hell. Red rimmed eyes, all around.

Ressler’s usually perfect hair was sticking out on end as if someone had grabbed it and pulled.

“Reddington you need to leave. The team that is transporting Liz’s body to the coroner has been given orders by Dept. of Justice to bring you in. As number four, a warrant isn’t even needed. Get out of here. We will contact you with answers when we have them. This is the only warning you’ll get.”

Red kept strolling as if Donald hadn’t even spoke. He walked up to Aram, who he knew to be truthful and frankly too terrified to lie to him.

He knew not to bother with the boy-scout. If he had to deal with his derision of Lizzie being arrested to begin with, he would put a bullet between his eyes.

“Mr. Reddington?” He was nervous, visibly upset, but maintained eye contact with Red.

“Aram, I’ll ask you one time only. Is Agent Keen dead? What happened?”

“They were to the vehicles, sir, they were loading her in one of the SUV’s and she just ran. She removed her cuffs and somehow cuffed her two escorts together through the handle of the truck so they wouldn’t chase her. She made it to the entrance of the parking garage when one of them gunned her down. She…she didn’t get back up. There was blood…The blood.”

Aram turned away, could no longer to continue for the memories swamping him.

Red wanted to fall apart, to follow her to wherever her final resting place may be, but he had too many questions left unanswered.

Red then looked to Agent Navabi for confirmation and to continue the tale.

“She didn’t get up, but her escorts were unable to get her. We had been watching on the video feed and went to help her, but she was gone by the time we arrived. CPR would have been useless.”

Red was done listening. He whirled around with Dembe close on his heels. He had to get away, Lizzie had cared for these people.

He believed she would be disappointed in him if they joined her.

On the outside, he looked fairly calm. The tick of his cheek the only physical manifestation of his inner turmoil.

On the inside he was a tidal wave of emotion. He allowed her to be arrested as part of the plan.

Her plan. At first, he was reluctant, but it was brilliant. It was the easiest and fastest way to destroy the cabal.

The Director would have to come out to question her. He couldn’t hide behind his army of spooks at Langley.

They would be able to put a tail on him and find out where the Cabal holds its meetings.

The arrest of one of the only living people with actual knowledge of the fulcrum was a coup that they would want to celebrate. A gathering for a job well done.

Even if they weren’t the ones to orchestrate it.

So Lizzie was captured and he was left to operate, plan, and move their people and teams accordingly.

_Why the hell would she try to escape? That wasn’t part of the plan. Something had to have changed. She wouldn’t have run unless she had a real reason to be afraid._

He would find that reason and everyone involved would pay with their lives.

*****

Red had managed to keep his composure up until they he reached their bedroom.

The bedroom where tangled sheets and moans were much more frequent than actual sleeping.

Where he would kiss her from head to toe.

The tears streamed down his face, unchecked.

Nothing mattered anymore. He knew he was alone in his grief and Dembe wouldn’t let anyone interrupt him.

He also knew that Dembe was grieving as well, but he couldn’t help but be selfish and go off to lick his wounds alone.

Looking at the bed, he thought of what would never be. The plans whispered in the aftermath of love, never to come to fruition.

He cried for all of the cities they would never visit, the stars they could never kiss under, ever again.

His grief rolled over him, his body quaking with sobs.

After a time, his tears dried and an icy fist held his heart.

His love, his only reason for breathing was gone.

It was time to start planning.

 

Tbc…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think. I appreciate the feedback.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ressler visits Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Hope this is satisfying:)  
> Disclaimed, as always.

One week and a slew of new felonies later, Red could finally rest.

The cabal was destroyed. C-4 had taken care of that one beautifully.

The agents that were sent to transfer Lizzie to another facility? The ones responsible for her death?

Turns out that there really wasn’t a hole dark enough of deep enough, to save them from the wrath of Raymond Reddington.

Dembe was just as vicious and bloodthirsty.

In fact, they had almost argued because Dembe wasn’t saving anyone for Red to handle.

It would have been funny if they weren’t arguing over avenging a woman that they both cared for.

Dembe was not a fan of people, but if you were his friend, the loyalty you would receive would be stronger than anything you could ever compare it too.

The loyalty was endless. Deathless too.

Red could finally make arrangements for her body now that his work was finished.

 

He was sorting mail, a mundane task that took his mind off of things that he couldn’t change. Things that still rip him in two after a week.

What the hell was he receiving a bill from a laboratory for?

The name was Masha Reddington. Lizzie’s favorite alias. She said it made her sound mysterious.

The paper fell from his grasp as a knock pounded on the door.

Dembe, gun at the ready, peeped out to identify their caller. He mouthed ‘Ressler’ at Red and waited for instructions.

Red nodded at him to go ahead and open the door.

Dembe looked into the corridor both ways to ensure that Ressler was alone and stepped back inside.

“Red, do you have a minute?”

“Donald, I believe our business was finished the second you failed to protect my wife while she was in your care.”

Ressler sighed, muttered under his breath.

“Look, I know that things didn’t go as planned, but I really think that you are going to want to hear me out.”

“You don’t know what I think, boy, and don’t presume to think you have the brain cells required for that amount of intellect.”

Ressler let his head fall back on his shoulders. “You are so luck that I like you.”

Red’s face was s snarl of grief and anger. “I don’t give a damn what you want and I certainly don’t care whether you like me or not.”

Another sigh, but this time he straightened and looked Red in the eye.

“I wasn’t particularly talking to you and you need to shut the hell up. Now, I come bearing gifts, but if you want to be an ass about it, I can certainly take it back.”

Red stepped closer to the threshold of the door. He glanced at Ressler’s hands and noticed that he wasn’t holding anything.

His brow line raised in skepticism, he asked “If you came to drop off your imaginary friend, I’m not interested. You two will just have to work it out in couples counseling.”

Ressler stepped aside and Red had to grab the door to keep from passing out.

“I thought you might like your wife back.”

 

*****

 

There she was, pale and decidedly skinnier than the last time he saw her. She stepped forward, he stepped forward, the met in the middle, both reaching forward to touch the other.

Reassure themselves that the other is real.

Red had tears in his eyes, but he refused to give in to them. “Mrs. Reddington, it’s so nice to see you.”

She took a shuddering breath and seemed to get paler by the second.

Was she afraid of him? Did she think he would be angry?

“I know you want answers, but I couldn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure if it would work and if I would even live through it. It was risky, but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Ressler, so play nice.”

He couldn’t take it anymore and crushed her to him. Her scream of pain chilled his blood.

“Sweetheart, oh god, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Ressler shifted to move her away from him. Red saw him out of the corner of his eye and said “If you touch her, you’ll may lose your hands and gain a bullet to the temple.”

Lizzie was taking deep, measured breaths. Breathlessly, she replied “Jesus, I’m alright, just need to breathe through it…Red, what did the team tell you at the Post Office?”

Red was running his hands up and down her arms. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he had to touch her.

He needed it more than his next breath.

“That you had been killed. Gunned down.”

She just stared at him, expectantly. Waiting for the cogs to fall into place.

“Are you kidding me?! Dembe call Mr. Kaplan and get her here immediately. Lizzie, why didn’t you just say so?”

He gingerly grabbed her elbow and started to lead her into their bedroom. It was a mess, but he was just going to have to deal with her comments about his lack of housekeeping skills.

He stopped and turned. The gratuity left a bad taste in his mouth, but despite the fact that this man lied and deceived him, he couldn’t bring himself to be anything but entirely grateful right now.

“I believe I can handle her from here, Agent Ressler. I…thank you. I know what you risked-“

Ressler interrupted him.

“It’s just Don now, I quit the Bureau. I can’t be an enforcer of corruption. And you’re welcome.”

With that parting shot, he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mystery of why Red didn't actually see her body will be answered soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie and Red wait for Mr. Kaplan. Little bit of backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to update! More will come soon!  
> Disclaimed, as always.

Once in their bedroom, with Dembe off making the necessary calls, Red couldn’t take his eyes, or his hands off of Lizzie.

He sucked in his breath as he helped her remove the shirt she was wearing. The button up must have been Donald’s. Later on he’s sure that jealousy will rear its ugly head, but right now, he is so very thankful and happy that she is alive and with him.

She has massive bruising all over her back with bandages in two separate spots. One on her left upper arm, and one high on her right shoulder.

“Broken bones?” He was trying to stay impartial. They had guests coming over and he rather doubted they wanted to see the Concierge of Crime a blubbering mess.

Well, Kate was into the rough stuff, but he was definitely not her cup of tea.

“Not positive. I haven’t had x-rays. It wasn’t safe.”

He sighed as if disappointed “Of course through no venues that Captain America would have known about. Really Lizzie, have I taught you nothing?”

The pattern of bruising showed at least five bullets that were stopped by a bullet proof vest. He assumed the bandages covered the spots where the vest wasn’t enough.

At least seven bullets hit her. He may actually pass out before Mr. Kaplan can arrive.

“You’ve taught me many things, Red” Her voice was husky, erotic. How could she think of sex right now?

He walked around to her front, his voice cracked with emotion. “Lizzie, you need to give me a moment. You were just dead for me a few minutes ago. You have no idea what I went through.”

“I’m so sorry Red, I am kind of drugged and in pain and just happy to see you. I’ve missed you so much. Being away from you was awful. I was so drugged, I am very sure that Ressler was going to smother me himself after listening to me call for you and repeatedly tell him how wonderful you were.”

She huffed out a laugh of depreciation, as if embarrassed by her weakness.

He may or may not be going into shock. He could do nothing but look at her with awe, with wonder.

He no longer was without purpose, without passion.

He helped ease her down on her stomach, her groans of pain and discomfort were painful for him to hear, but were music to his ears.

They meant she was here. And she was alive.

 

_3 Months Prior_

“What were you thinking?! He could have killed you. Oh, you took Donald for backup. That’s reassuring. And absolutely why you have a concussion right now!”

Lizzie sat with a bag of ice over the left side of her face and head. It almost covered the bruising. Almost.

“Red, shut up. You are the one that gave us the lead. You could have mentioned that he was a Mixed Martial Arts fighter. And quit yelling. Please.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

She would have liked to yell back, but anything louder simply hurt too much.

Red sighed loudly.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry to yell. I was worried and afraid, and I don’t meant to take it out on you.”

She gave him a wry smile “I’d like to take the time to point out that you are also the one that decided that chasing a one of the many wastes of oxygen on your list while on our honeymoon.”

He sat next to her with his arm around her, holding her while she cuddled into his body.

“The opportunity presented itself and I’ll remind you that going by the book and doing everything via the correct channels was something you made me promise to try to do. I was more than willing to put a bullet in him and be done with it. I was trying to make you happy.”

Another sigh left him as they sat in the quiet.

She looked up at him with a small smile that looked more like a wince. “You did break both of his arms. That should make you at least a little happier, doesn’t it?”

He let loose of his frown, but he didn’t smile. Just kissed her upturned face.

He ran his hand over her hair, careful to avoid where she was injured.

“I couldn’t help it. You were lying on the ground after he hit you. The love of my life was out cold, time was of the essence. How was I to know that his arms were so fragile? I was just putting the cuffs on him since you were incapacitated and Donald was off getting beat up or captured as he seems to do on a weekly basis.”

Liz huffed out a laugh. “Be nice. One day he may surprise you.”

He didn’t answer. Silence was the nicest thing he could accomplish for Donald Ressler right now.

As they fell into silence once more she hesitantly asked “Do you regret this?...Do you regret…us?”

Feeling his arm tighten briefly was enough of an answer, but then his gravelly “Never, Lizzie. Never will I regret making you mine. I love you and the fact that we found a way to make this work is more than I could have ever hoped for. However, I am finding it much more difficult than anticipated to keep perspective. I thought it would be you that couldn’t keep a secret and here I am, almost spilling the beans every time I’m near you.”

Squeezing him back lightly, she whispered “I love you so much. Thank you for being so wonderful”

 

_Present Day_

 

Lizzie was so relieved to see that he was alright, alive and well, that she could barely breathe.

It could also be the bruised and broken ribs.

She wasn’t going to mention those. He’d find out soon enough.

She loved him so much and if she wouldn’t have done what she did, he would be dead. Tom Connelly would have had him shot this time. Dembe too.

Ressler had been investigating the cabal behind the scenes and he had finally found concrete proof that Tom Connelly was dirty and was responsible for so many crimes on US and foreign soil that it may take years to sift through the mess. Of course, all that was a moot point since Ressler had informed her yesterday that Connelly, along with a dozen or so other top ranking US and International officials were killed in an explosion in Northern main.

Red had went hunting. The cabal and anyone with ties to it were gone.

Red had broken his promise in his grief and rage.

He was supposed to find out that she was fine, but she was delirious the first few days and it was all Ressler could do to keep her quiet, he said.

He also suspected that Ressler was pissed that Red had decided it was a good idea to begin with.

“I love you Red. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I’ll-“

She was interrupted by Mr. Kaplan sweeping into the room. “Glad you are back from the dead, but would it have killed you to call and tell someone. Raymond almost-”

“Went crazy from missing you. Yes, yes, we know. Just look her over. She has multiple wounds and no x-rays have been taken. I don’t even know if they were cleaned properly. For all we know her back is rotting off under those bandages because that incompetent, glorified Boy Scout didn’t take proper care of her.”

His agitation was clear. He was flustered. Lizzie would think more about that later.

Right now, Mr. Kaplan was peeling off her bandages and it was all she could do to not scream.

 

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Liz talk. Mr. Kaplan takes care of Liz's injuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty fluffy. You have been warned. Thank you for the Reviews/Kudos. It means the world to me! You're the best!  
> Disclaimed, as per usual.

As Mr. Kaplan peeled the layers of gauze off of Lizzie’s back, it took every ounce of control to not let his rage show.

Lizzie didn’t need him to fly off the handle. She needed his support and that was what she would receive.

He had been wrong, the bandages hid three bullet holes. Two on her upper arm/shoulder area and another in between her opposite arm and side.

That one was just a graze.

“Who dug these out? Were they blind?” Mr. Kaplan was all business as she set about numbing the area, much to Liz’s relief.

“Wellll...” Red snorted. She was protecting Donald. He was her friend and she wouldn’t want Red to kill him.

“Lizzie, we all know it was Donald. I won’t kill him, yet.”

The pain meds must be working their magic because her smile wasn’t as pained as it was minutes ago.

“It was me. Ressler had to get back to the Post Office and I couldn’t just leave the bullets in to get infected. I signed up to help ferret out the cabal, not get septicemia. There were only two. I almost passed out a couple of times, but I think I got most of it out. I used a mirror and tweezers. By the time Ressler returned, I had passed out. From what I understand, he patched me up, but I was in and out of it for a few days and that’s why you weren’t contacted. The fevers still come at night.”

The more she spoke, the angrier Red became. His breathing changed, huffing out in a rage.

He knew he should wait until she was better, but he just couldn’t. It was a poison inside of him and he couldn’t let it fester or it would ruin everyone around him.

“You dug them out BY YOURSELF?! This wouldn’t have happened if you stuck with the plan as agreed. You needlessly risked yourself and everything we’ve worked for, Elizabeth! How could you?!”

She was crying, but he was past sparing her feelings.

“I’m…sorry, Red. Connelly said that they knew about our safe house in Alexandria. I knew that’s where we were last staying. He said that you would be assassinated and I was going to be transferred into another black site, one that has a reputation for torture and endless brainwashing. Where I would never be free. I tried to tell him that you were worth more alive than dead, but he said that with the proof you had the fulcrum, you could no longer be kept in line with fear. That only your death would save their organization. I was scared, I thought you were in danger. I’m sorry.”

The tears running down her face had little to do with physical discomfort and everything to do with her remorse at dragging her beloved through so much turmoil.

He never would have raised his voice to her otherwise. He was so worldly, yet so classically old school. Respect for your spouse was paramount to Raymond Reddington’s code of gentlemanly conduct.

“Lizzie, you could have called me when you woke up. I…didn’t have my phone while I was away, but there were most certainly other avenues in which to reach me.”

She sighed “Not without compromising everything we still have in play by informing Ressler.”

He was quiet with the realization and border line horror that she would sacrifice herself to keep his interests safe.

“I believe that I’ve said this before, but you can _never_ do this again.”

She winced as Mr. Kaplan picked out a piece of debris from one of her wounds and dropped it in a container. “Looks like I missed a spot.”

Red just sighed. She was so stubborn, he wasn’t going to make any progress today.

“We will continue this conversation when you are healed.” Right now, he would hold her hand and marvel at the turn of events.

*****

Mr. Kaplan had fished out two more small fragments in her back and cleaned out what she hoped was the worst of the infection. She also started an IV antibiotic, painkillers and antipyretic for the fever.

Hopefully Lizzie wouldn’t need further medical intervention, but at this point, blood poisoning is a very real possibility. The fragments had been inside of her too long.

When Kate pulled Red aside and told him, he felt his world crashing down on him once again.

She was returned to him and lack of proper medical care may very well take her away from him permanently.

With the medication being pumped into her, at first she felt better than she had since she was shot.

She was alert and spoke with Red about how much she missed him and was sorry that he had to go through the pain and anguish of thinking she was dead.

No matter how many times she apologized, Red just told her that he was glad that they were together and how he was never going to let anything separate them again.

Exhaustion was clear on her face when he finally told her that he was going to arrange for a meal to be deliver and that she should try to rest.

“I’ll only sleep if you are here with me. I don’t ever want to wake without you there with me.”

He couldn’t help but smile and reply “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.”

The truth was he was worried. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were glazing over.

Her fever was coming back.

He couldn’t fight an enemy that was inside of her. But damned if he wouldn’t die trying.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I believe that this has one more chapter. I think. We'll see that Musie says,lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red nurses Liz back to health. Liz speaks with Mr. Kaplan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this story! Thank you for the reviews and the Kudos, they mean so much to me! This chapter is a little longer than usual, but hopefully you like it.  
> Disclaimed, as usual. I own nothing and make no money off of this.

For three days, Red’s life was hell on earth.

Lizzie’s body raged with an infection and he could do nothing but alleviate the symptoms.

He sat through countless baths of ice with her. She wouldn’t lay alone, just thrashed around so violently that he feared she would injure herself.

Hallucinations that were alternatingly terrifying and sweet plagued her mind.

One minute she would scream for help from the pain, and the next, she would quiet down and tell him how much she loved him.

She repeatedly called for him. It was comforting that he was who she immediately thought of.

Although, it felt wrong, being present for her inner most thoughts. He relished in this though. He was selfish enough to be grateful for the opportunity to know that she loved him as much as he loved her.

She had been completely delirious for nearly three days. The first day, she still had intermittent moments of clarity, but by the middle of the second day, those moments were non-existent.

He was dying inside, thinking of the ‘what if’s’ in this situation.

Mr. Kaplan wasn’t helping. That was Kate though, the unvarnished truth whether you want to hear it or not.

She may never come out of it.

She may die. Die. That word just kept running through his mind.

If her fever is too high, she could suffer from brain damage.

He was more than happy to sit through ice baths and countless hallucinations if it meant that his Lizzie would come back to him.

He was lost, rudderless, without her.

He went through this before, he couldn’t do it again.

Plans were already made from when he thought she was gone before.

If Elizabeth Reddington dies, Raymond Reddington won’t be far behind.

He’s lived too long, too hard to even know how to continue after being showed such happiness and light.

He never thought he would be given a second chance. He had hopes that they could work together harmoniously, and he was content with just that.

But Lizzie, so stubborn, once she finally realized she cared for him, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

If it wasn’t him being tormented by her, he would have been amused by her tenacity.

But since it was him that she was brushing her breasts up against at every opportunity, even at the Post Office, he was less than happy.

He knew he was bad for her, but she just wouldn’t give up on him.

When they finally made love, it was heaven on earth.

They had married two months later on the beach after catching a particularly nasty weapons dealer.

It was beautiful and everything that he had hoped it would be.

She was radiant. Even now, laying helpless in bed, she was everything to him.

Now that he had her, he would never give her up. Not even to the grim reaper.

 

*****

 

On the fourth day, Red came back from the restroom to see that Lizzie was sweating. Her sheets were soaked.

Tears welled in his eyes. Her fever broke.

He must have made a noise and disturbed her because she rasped out “Red?”

Her eyes were still closed, but that didn’t stop him from replying.

“Lizzie, welcome back darling. Here, take a drink. It will help with you throat.”

He helped her take a drink, but when she finally looked up at him, she frowned, “What happened to you?”

He must look awful. He hadn’t shaved, had barely an opportunity to shower. Daily, he left Lizzie with Dembe for a few minutes to bathe, only because he didn’t want her to smell him should she wake up.

He was wearing a black t-shirt and black cargo pants. The outfit was practical and easy to take off in a hurry should she need another bath.

“I’m fine. It’s you that decided to take an extra-long nap. You’ve been out for four days. You had an infection and have been out of it almost the entire time.”

She tried to sit up, but was so weak, it was impossible.

Giving up, she relaxed against the pillows and rasped out “I love you…So sorry.”

His eyes seemed to glow with the love contained in them.

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. I am just thankful that we are here, together, and as long as we have that, everything is going to be alright.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, he was just too beautiful for words. “I’m sorry… I know you….You were making plans.”

He didn’t even bother trying to pretend ignorance of what she meant “None of that matters now. What matters now is that you get better. I’m afraid that your little escape and my subsequent…cleaning house, has made it impossible for us to remain in the U.S. for much longer. The team is doing everything that they can to make sure that you remain ‘deceased’, but the only chance that they have of being successful is if you are never spotted. I know that we said we would work out things so we could have a life here, but that isn’t an option any longer.”

Lizzie froze, broke eye-contact with him as if concentrating.

“I need Mr. Kaplan. Now!”

He was startled by her sudden loudness. He stood, but still had to ask “What’s the matter, are you in pain?” as his eyes roved over her, looking for sight or sign of injury, of pain.

She wasn’t just pale, she looked terrified.

At the door he shouted for Kate and she immediately appeared, as if she knew she was needed.

“I’m glad to see you’re awake, dearie. You gave all of us a scare, if you would like to know.”

“Red, get out. Get out!” Lizzie’s voice was sounding more panicked and crazed by the second.

He immediately protested, but Kate just gave him a look and said “Why don’t you get a snack, Raymond. Dembe has been cooking non-stop.”

He reluctantly left, pouting and mumbling under his breath about crazy women ganging up on him.

 

*****

 

“Now. What seems to be the issue that you’re screeching down the house for?” Mr. Kaplan came to sit by her side and grabbed her hand in a show of support. Or to calm her. Either way, it was working

Liz started to cry. Trying to stay quiet in case Red was listening she said “I need you to run a blood test and I need it done today. Do you have the equipment?”

“Honey, I can get my hands on anything. It’s why Raymond loves me so much.”

She gave a small smile through her terror. “But you can’t tell Red.”

She was met with an immediate frown “I am not in the habit of hiding things from him. Neither should you. Were you exposed to something? Did they inject you with anything while you were in FBI custody?”

Mr. Kaplan was already all business and was already donning gloves and retrieving a draw kit from a bedside drawer.

“I don’t have anything contagious. I just need to know before I tell Red. I can’t be wrong about this. He’s gone through too much…Although, when he finds out, he’ll probably strangle me.”

The snorting laughter that left Mr. Kaplan was a little encouraging “That man would saw off his arm before harming a single hair on your pretty little head and you know it, Missy.”

Mr. Kaplan went back to her frown as she worked on drawing the sample from Liz’s arm.

“Before going into FBI custody, I went to the doctor to get a refill of my birth control and instead found out I was pregnant. I need to know if I’m still pregnant before I tell him. I won’t get his hopes up with a false alarm.”

Silence. The absolute loudest silence she had ever encountered.

Liz whispered, ”You think I’m awful for still going along with the plan, but it had to be done. We needed to draw them out."

“I think that what I think doesn’t matter. It’s too late now. What’s done is done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie may be feeling a little better, but she ends up hurting Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this story. The comments and Kudos mean so much to me!
> 
> Ok, so having grown humans of my own before, I know that hormones make you do and say things that otherwise would never occur to a person. This is what happens to Liz. Lots of hurt and angst ahead.  
> Disclaimed, as usual.

Five days later, they found themselves boarding the jet, with Liz still under orders from Red to move as little as possible.

In fact, he carried her around most everywhere. If he wasn’t available, Dembe was more than happy to fill in.

She was feeling spoiled, but as endearing as it was, it got old fast.

After the second day, she had drawn the line on bathroom escorts.

However, she did enjoy the showers they took together. She still couldn’t get her stitches wet, but she had talked Red into helping her with the detachable shower head…Which he then used to do wonderfully naughty things to her.

 

In the middle of her daydreaming about showers, she didn’t notice that the jet had filled with people.

Looking up, she almost squealed in her excitement to see Aram, Samar, Ressler, and even Cooper.

Everyone had gathered around her to see her off with hugs and more than a few tears.

As far as husbands go, hers was the most amazing ever.

He hung back, not wanting to take the spotlight from her.

Everyone around her was saying their good-byes, yet all she could do was look at Red, all the love she felt, shining through.

He was looking back, looking so very delicious in his cream suit and matching fedora, she couldn’t help herself, she blurted out “I’m pregnant.”

 

Mr. Kaplan had rushed the results of her blood test earlier in the week and they had them within 24 hours. She just hadn’t built up the courage to tell Red yet.

At that moment. Looking across the cabin of the jet at him. Feeling so overwhelmingly in love with him, it just came out.

Everyone froze. Everyone. They then turned and looked at Red, waiting for his reply.

Liz was more than a little uncomfortable with her outburst, but she refused to lower her eyes or look away. This was important. This was their lives.

Their future.

Red, not wanting an audience, walked up to Liz, scooped her up and carried her to the small bedroom, and closed the door.

It was, for the most part, soundproof. She hoped.

Liz had a feeling that they would need it.

Instead of setting her down on the bed, he sat with her in his lap.

He said nothing, just held her tightly, her head tucked into his neck.

She couldn’t see his face and was thinking he was angry. She wasn’t prepared to hear the tears in his voice.

“A baby? Is that why you had your panic attack and needed Mr. Kaplan? Did she confirm it?”

She just nodded, knowing that his joy would be eclipsed by anger soon enough.

She should have known though, that Red knew her body better than she did, when he stiffened and rasped out “How far along are you Lizzy?”

He had a pretty accurate approximation, she was sure. He just wanted to punish her by stating it out loud.

She drew it out as long as she could by stating “Exactly? I’m not sure until I go in for my first ultrasound.”

“We both know that’s not the answer I was looking for.”

_Deep breaths, Lizzie. He loves you._ She had to keep repeating those words in her head.

“About three months.”

He sucked in a breath, his body tight as a bow string.

“You know how badly I wanted this. We spoke of children before we decided to get married. You know what this means to me. Yet you were willing to endanger yourself, and our baby for what, revenge? We could have left, I would have kept you both safe. Do you believe me to be incapable of taking care of things without you running around and getting shot SEVEN FUCKING TIMES?!?”

She scrambled off his lap, causing herself no small amount of pain in the process.

Wincing and crying with the pain, both physical and from Red’s words, Liz had no idea how to respond. How to fix this.

“I had to do this. For us, so we could even entertain a future where we could live with some semblance of freedom. You may think me selfish, but I assure you that I’ve thought of _nothing_ but you and our baby. Since I’ve found out, I make myself sick thinking of a future without us together. So you are the only one allowed to make sacrifices, protect your family? Because that’s what we are, that’s what I signed on for. I have never been a passive bystander and you should’ve thought about that before marrying me!”

Their shouts were so loud, that even the heavily insulated walls were probably not enough.

She was crying, Red had tears in his eyes. They were a mess, but the only way to work through this was to talk.

Although, he was unprepared for her verbal attack and sat speechless.

“We’re done, I’m getting off this plane.”

It was if he turned a part of himself off, gone was the man she loved, her lover. His hard stare was every inch the Concierge of Crime.

“Oh, I believe that we are nowhere near being done, my dear. You are going nowhere.”

**Tbc…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Liz can't find a way to close the rift between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG-That finale. I now have Lizzinton Fuel for the entire summer hiatus! So excited.  
> Disclaimed, as always.

“You can’t stop me.”

He was already on the phone next to the bed. “Dembe, clear the plane and tell the pilot we’re ready to take off.”

She knew she should have acted sooner, because he was blocking her way out of the cabin.

She was still too sick to take him in a fight.

“Are you seriously considering kidnapping me? Holding me against my will?”

His bark of laughter held no real humor “Of course not, Lizzie. Things just got blown out of proportion and we need to calm down and take a step back from the situation before we can speak rationally about this. I love you Lizzie, and although I am upset, we will work through this.”

If she were thinking rationally, she would acknowledge that she was getting far too upset and her trying to leave was solely so she wouldn’t have to look at the hurt in his eyes. Hurt that she put there. When she really just wanted to apologize, something made her do the exact opposite.

“I don’t give a damn if you are upset, you can’t keep me here. I will get away. What are you going to do, keep me in restraints?! You are crazy if you think that I am going to stay with you while you continue to blame me for anything and everything. Next thing you know, it will be my fault that you couldn’t protect your first family!”

As soon as she said it, she wished like hell she could take it back. _She was a monster._

How could she have been so hateful??

His face lost every ounce of color and looked as if he was dying in front of her. And maybe he was. What she said was unforgivable.

When he spoke, it was barely audible “Well, now we know why you didn’t trust me to protect you. Because I’ve failed before? Hhmm? My inability to protect my family two and a half decades ago has no bearing on my abilities today.”

Her throat was on fire with regret and repressed tears “Oh my god, Red, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have ever…I don’t know why…I’m so sorry.”

He cleared his throat and graveled out “No matter. You still won’t be leaving.”

His face was totally closed off. She knew him well enough to realize that she would get no more information out of him.

Her anger gone, she laid down on the bed and faced away from him, sobbing quietly into the pillow.

She broke him.

She broke them.

Red was grieving and angry for both of them.

As the plane took off, he opened the cabin door and spat out “Don’t make yourself sick. Try not to harm our baby with your selfishness…again.”

She winced, waiting for the door to slam, but it never came. Just the soft click of the door closing.

She knew that she had messed up. Badly. She deserved those words and more for implying that Red was at fault for his family’s disappearance. The only thing she could think of was that her hormones made her crazy.

As her tears dried, she fell into a fitful slumber, thinking of ways she make things right between them.

 

*****

 

Red knew he was a monster for saying that to her as he left her.

All he knew was that he had to get away and he had to make sure she didn’t follow him.

He had to think.

He wasn’t all that angry at her, even now. He was hurt, sure, but when had his Lizzie ever pulled her punches in an argument.

She had rightfully felt cornered and accused, so she did was she had to do to protect herself.

He was actually proud of her veracity.

He can only imagine how fierce she will be after their baby arrives.

He sighed, thinking that hopefully they can work through this soon and get to the making up part.

“Is Elizabeth alright?”

Dembe’s question brought him out of his reverie.

“What makes you think that I am not the one left bleeding and hurt?”

Dembe snorted, “She is as weak as a kitten, Raymond. You would have been wise to not pick a fight with her.”

It was Red’s turn to snort “Kitten. Well that kitten in particular has claws. Words my friend, can cut much deeper than any weapon.”

“You both have been through hell in the past couple of weeks. You may have been thinking of death, but you must remember she was experiencing it firsthand. You’ve been there many times. In addition to almost dying, she knew, at least part of the time that the life that you two had created could be lost to her forever.”

Trust Dembe to put matters into their proper perspective.

 

*****

As they landed safely in Croatia, Red made his way into the cabin to wake Lizzie for their journey to their estate.

He sat beside her and ran his hand up and down her back, his heart breaking at the tear tracks dried in her face. “Lizzie, sweetheart, we’re here. It’s time to wake up.”

Her eyes opened and her expression was one of happiness. That is until she remembered their earlier argument. He could tell exactly when she remembered.

Her face closed up like a flower in the night.

“Thank you, Red.” Her voice was flat, no inflection of emotion.

She stood up with great difficulty and pain, her face showing her discomfort.

When he moved to put an arm of support around her, she stiffened and moved away from him.

“I need to use the restroom before we go.”

She wasn’t going to make this easy on him.

“Of course, Lizzie. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.”

He wasn’t sure why he said those words, but he had to say something. A show of support that he would be there, both to help her now, and waiting for her to forgive him.

Although, he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself.

 

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Our ship is amazing!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Liz settle in while trying to figure out a way to bridge the rift between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading/reviews/Kudos! You guys are the best!  
> Lots of angst ahead, you have been warned.  
> Disclaimed, as always.

When they arrived at their destination, which was really an enormous castle, Liz was speechless. It was opulent.

Looking around, there was nothing around for what had to be miles. There was the perfectly manicured lawn, a few outcropping of trees, but that was it. Maybe there were neighbors to the back of the castle, but she couldn’t tell because there was an enormous castle blocking her view.

“Way to stay low key.” Her smile was all smirk.

But her sarcasm was wasted since Red just replied jovially “It’s perfect. Croatia has no extradition, there’s no neighbors for miles, and there are enough rooms that I am sure it would be possible for you to not see me for days.”

Wow. So he was still a little mad. Well that’s fine. Let him stew.

She was in a beautiful country, going to have a baby with her husband, and the US government couldn’t touch them.

The small fact that they were having a slight tiff, was of little consequence, they always kissed and made up.

She led the way up the stairs as if she owned the place-although if Croatia was a communal property state, she suppose she did own it, at least half.

The perks of being Mrs. Reddington were getting better and better.

 

*****

After his earlier blunder of sticking his foot in his mouth, Red tried to speak as little as possible.

Liz had requested Dembe carry her to their rooms, since it would be too far for her to walk.

He was having a wheelchair delivered so that Lizzie could gain back some of her independence, but it wasn’t here yet. They were here ahead of schedule since they did not stay and say goodbye for very long with the team.

He hoped they were enjoying their little gifts. A couple million dollars each in the form of an untraceable inheritance from a long lost ‘relative’ should go a long way to thanking the team for helping Lizzie. All at different times, of course, and all held in off-shore accounts and thus, untouchable and untraceable by Uncle Sam.

Mr. Kaplan, who had just glared at him the entire ride to Croatia, followed Lizzie to helped her shower, change, and then gave her pain medication, along with what he learned was a pre-natal vitamin.

He needed to figure out how to make things right.

Instructing the staff to acquire mandevilla flowers for Lizzie was his first step. They were her favorite. When the gardener came to him to point out that they were a tropical flower and Croatia was nowhere near the tropics, Red just stared at him until he stammered and practically ran away with the promise to have the flowers delivered as soon as possible.

“If you cause all the staff quit being an asshole because you’re angry with yourself, I’m leaving. And taking her with me.”

He turned slowly, pondering his response. Kate did not do bluffs. “Mr. Kaplan, I am merely seeking to make Lizzie’s environment more beautiful and fragrant, is that a crime?”

She huffed out a small laugh, but still looked at him with displeasure. “You need remove your head from your sphincter and remember that she is fragile. She probably hurt your feelings or your pride, judging by your reactions, but all of your reactions need to be tempered by the fact that she has more hormones running through her than a sorority house.”

His reply was flat “She endangered herself and our future. I was supposed to say nothing?”

“No, you were supposed to table your response until you could speak without sounding like an unreasonable caveman.”

“I am trying to figure out how to make things right, I just can’t seem to say the right things. She is closing up on me and I am powerless to stop it.”

She moved for the door, “I expect you’ll figure it all out…eventually.”

 

*****

Liz was laying down, unsuccessfully attempting to rest. She needed to apologize to Red again. Try to open up a dialogue.

If they were going to work through this, they had to start communicating.

Her back was on fire, she needed some more Tylenol. Since finding out that she was still pregnant, she had refused all narcotics that would have taken away the pain and instead made a choice that would be safer for the baby. Mr. Kaplan hadn’t approved, but she was probably upset with her for being so awful to Red.

She picked up her bedside phone to call for assistance, but Mr. Kaplan was already breezing into her room.

“How are you feeling, dearie? It’s time for your meds. Do you have any discomfort anywhere?”

After handing Liz the pills and a glass of water, she took the glass and set it back on the bed stand, and made a motion for Liz to turn over “Do you need any help?”

Liz turned over, so she didn’t notice that Red had entered the room.

“No, I got it. I think I may be hungry. My stomach hurts. My back is on fire, of course, but the Tylenol will take the edge off that.”

Mr. Kaplan lifted her shirt in places, then lifted the bandages to check her stitches.

“Liar, the meds aren’t helping. Also, I’ll go get you a snack and if you still have discomfort, let me know.”

She finished up and pulled her shirt back into place. “No, they don’t help at all. I am trying to use the power of wishful thinking.” He laugh was loud at first but then immediately quieted when she turned back to find Red there.

“Why aren’t you taking something stronger?” He was hurting, just thinking of the pain she must be in. She was suffering needlessly, but he was trying to tamper down his judgement.

“Red, contrary to what you believe, I won’t put my baby in any more danger than need be.” Well, her glare was back in place, along with her sass.

Red sighed. “I don’t wish to argue. I just don’t like the thought of you in pain.”

“I’ll live, Red. Just go.”

*****

Liz’s stomach felt a little better after eating, but she was exhausted and decided to go to bed early. When she next woke, it was pitch black. The clock read 2:36 am. She figured since she felt wide awake that she may as well go to the bathroom.

If the need to pee so often was only going to get progressively worse, she be living in the bathroom by her seventh month.

Turning on the lamp, she gingerly moved to get out of bed, knowing that the pain was going to be a bitch when she stood.

Her room smelled wonderful. Like spring in the Bahamas. Looking around, her room was full of flowers.

Red was so sweet, having these shipped here from god knows where.

Knowing that she had to get moving so she could make it to the bathroom by Christmas, she braced herself up by her hands, looked down at herself and screamed.

 

**Tbc…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is woken up by Liz's screams and rushes her to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are still interested in this as I have a couple more chapters to go. If you are still reading, thank you for taking the time to do so!

Red jerked awake suddenly, not knowing exactly what was wrong. Then, a blood-curdling scream came from next door. _Lizzie_.

He ran, yanked open the door adjoining the two rooms, and found a scene that played out only in his worst nightmares.

Lizzie was kneeling up in the bed, covered in blood from the waist down. It looked like it was everywhere. In the bed. Covering her hands. “Red, our baby! Please help me!”

Not sparing a second to even reply, he scooped her up, blanket and all and rushed out of the room.

Dembe and Mr. Kaplan both met them in the hallway. “We have to go to the hospital. Now! She’s bleeding.” He knew he had to be strong for Lizzie, but all he wanted to do was scream and cry to the fates. This was all his fault. He never should have upset her. Their baby was gone because he had to pick a fight to salve his pride.

Dembe drove with Kate riding up front. Lizzie was incoherent in her terror. He just held her to him and told her over and over how much he loved her and how utterly sorry he was. He was shaking just as badly as she was, already mourning the loss of their child before it could even be born.

 

*****

Two hours later, he found himself in the waiting room of the local hospital, sitting in an uncomfortable chair with his head cradled in his hands. Waiting for news was the worst.

He knew the basics. She most likely lost the baby, but if they didn’t get the bleeding stopped, she could die too. Having to explain her bullet wounds was a treat. He had to pay through the nose to have them omitted on her medical records.

She was listed under an alias, but you could never be too careful.

Dembe was standing sentry at the doors. He was nervous and worried, so fell back on what was comforting to him-making sure that his family was safe.

Mr. Kaplan sat next to Red, rubbing his back in comfort.

And so they sat, until a doctor opened the door to the waiting room. He spoke only Croatian and Red only caught bits and pieces. Dembe had followed the doctor to act as interpreter.

“He says that the bleeding has stopped and that Liz and the baby are safe…for now. The blood test shows her hormonal levels are fine, which wouldn’t be the case if she were having a miscarriage. Her blood pressure was a bit high, so that could just be the cause. Either way, they are keeping her overnight for observation. She is settled now and can have visitors.”

The words were no sooner out of Dembe’s mouth and Red was on his feet. He had to see her.

When he walked into the room, she was crying silently. She looked up at him as Red entered the room with Dembe right behind him and sobbed loudly.

“Oh, Red did they tell you anything? The nurses and doctor tried to tell me, but I couldn’t understand anything they said. I’m so afraid! Is our baby gone?!”

He went to her bedside and gathered her in his arms. “Lizzie, sweetheart, if I would have known you were sitting here wondering, I would have forced my way in long ago. Our baby is fine. They think maybe it’s your blood pressure. I’m so sorry for upsetting you. I love you so much. I don’t want you to think for a moment that I don’t care for you with everything that I am.”

His words just made her cry harder. “Lizzie, you need to calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you again. I need to just shut my mouth. I’ll be silent for the remainder of your pregnancy if you promise not to cry anymore. You’re breaking my heart.”

She just shook her head. She couldn’t breathe around her sobs. “No…I’m so happy….our baby is alright….you love me.” The sobbing continued, so he just worked on calming his breathing and rubbing her back while he held her. Words weren’t working, so that was all he could think to do.

“Shhh…it’s ok. I’m right here, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you, or our baby.”

Slowly, she calmed and just clung to him as if he were her only lifeline. Maybe he was. “Red, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I said such awful things and I didn’t mean them.”

“I know. Its fine, Lizzie.”

The door opened again, revealing the physician. He spoke to Dembe for a moment, then gestured to a cart that he was pulling behind him. Dembe spoke “He wants to have a look at the baby to make sure that everything is ok and to be assured that it’s not in distress.”

Red looked to Lizzie “We get to meet our little peanut, sweetheart.” She was smiling, but he could tell that there was still worry in her eyes. Hopefully, this would go a long way to reassuring her that things were going to be ok.

The doctor spoke the entire time that he was plugging in and setting up the equipment, so Dembe translated. “He says that usually they would do an internal exam for how far along you are, but that with the bleeding, he doesn’t wish to chance causing more damage.”

He pulled her blankets down low on her hips, pulled up her hospital gown, and covered her lower stomach in gel. Lizzie shivered “Whoa. That’s a little chilly.”

Red chuckled, but his eyes were no longer on her. They were on the screen as he waited for the doctor to find their baby with the wand he held in his hand.

He pushed the gel around, but the screen was a black and grey mass of nothing that looked anything remotely like a baby.

But then, a form started taking shape. They both sucked in a breath as they saw their baby for the first time.

**Tbc…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red and Liz see their baby and find out how far along Liz really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful feedback/Kudos/Messages! I love that at least a few people are enjoying this story as much as I am! I was hesitant to go the pregnancy route, but this storyline kept bugging me. I am ecstatic you enjoy it. This chapter is pretty fluffy!  
> Disclaimed, as usual. I own nothing and make no money off of this.

The physician ran the wand in different directions all over Liz’s abdomen, entering in numbers, measuring. There was a constant swooshing noise, then the doctor pointed out a little flutter, like a tiny hummingbird. “Srce” Was all the doctor uttered, but Dembe said “That’s the baby’s heart.”

As he moved the wand, he continued to mutter under his breath, he paused then frowned and spoke to Dembe.

Dembe looked to Liz “How far along are you?”

She looked to Red “I don’t exactly know. All I had done was a urine and then a blood test confirming the pregnancy. No other tests have been done. I’m irregular, so there was no way for me to know for sure.”

While Dembe translated, Liz gripped Red’s hand in a vice grip. She had been through so much physical trauma. Was there something wrong with the baby? She had to know.

“Why? Why does he want to know, she interrupted.” Red just bent over so that he could hold her as close as possible and put his forehead to hers, whispering her to calm her.

While the doctor told Dembe the reason, Red stiffened and straightened staring off into space, silently calculating.

Dembe looked to Liz “He says that you are measuring to be about four months pregnant.”

Astounded, excited, and worried, all at the same time, Liz could only look to Red, awaiting his response.

He finally looked to her and said “New York.” She had been speechless before, but now she just blushed. Well that makes sense.

They had been out of town and she had missed a couple of pills. They had taken a four-day weekend and never left the hotel room the entire time.

The hedonistic revelry they indulged in…made her catch her breath just thinking about it. Red was inexhaustible. She had teased him about taking a little blue pill just to torture her.

He then tied her to the bed and made her beg for her orgasms. She blacked out from the pleasure, but had lost count at 7.

She could barely walk into work the following Tuesday. Red had left her at the entrance of the Post Office and was looking like he had been through a cage fight. He teased her that he needed to drop her off at work so that he could recover.

That was a little over four months ago.

Red’s eyes were alight with the shared memories of that glorious, long weekend. But the he cleared his throat and asked Dembe “Ask him if we can learn the gender of the baby.”

After some more swishing around and another squirt of the cold gel, he said “Aha!” and looked to Lizzie and nodded with his brow raised. Asking if she wanted to know as well.

She nodded. “Dječak” “Dembe?” What did he mean? Girl? Boy? Twins?

Dembe was grinning and Red had tears in his eyes and his voice was so low and gravelly it was more of a vibration in his chest than words “A boy. We’re going to have a boy.”

Liz was crying again. “A boy, Ray. We’re having a little boy. In only five months. Oh, god. Five months what are we going to do? I’m not ready? We don’t have anything. Red, what are we going to do?!”

She was starting to hyperventilate. “Love, you need to calm down. We have plenty of time. We have a home with tons of room and more money than you could ever spend.”

The doctor left them to have their moment, telling Dembe that he would return later to check on Liz.

Red cleaned the gel off of Liz’s stomach and laid his hand over it without covering her back up. She wasn’t showing, but there was a new hardness that wasn’t natural to her physique.

He was a little worried by how small she looked, but remembered reading decades ago that first pregnancies are later to show. He also wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what the hell he was doing.

He just filed the question away with the multitude of other to ask the physician before they were discharged

*****

Lizzie was so relieved. And so unbelievably happy. Red had stayed with her, the entire night. Right now, red was slumped over in the chair next to her bed, snoring lightly. She knew he was uncomfortable. She had tried to get him to go home, but he just smiled at her and said “Well that’s not going to happen.”

She moved to get out of the bed to use the restroom and as soon as her feet hit the floor, Red jerked awake and asked “Lizzie, what’s wrong? Why are you leaving?” She barely spared him a look as her trip was becoming mission critical, but she did call out, “Not leaving, bathroom.” behind her as she tried to navigate the IV pole without tripping over it.

Red rushed around to the other side of the bed to help her. “Why didn’t you say something, I could have helped you out of bed. What if you fall? That’s what I’m here for.”

She sighed. “I can made it, but if it will make you feel better, you can follow behind me. I’m a little dizzy.”

He put his arm around her back, held her right hand, and walked so closely behind her it felt as if he were leading her in a dance. He synchronized his steps to hers, his breath at her ear, more distracting than it should be. It had been so long since they were so close.

He had been keeping his distance for fear of hurting her. When he stepped away as they reached the toilet, she nearly moaned from the loss of feeling his body against hers.

“I’ll be right outside the door, please call me if you are feeling dizzy.”

As the door clicked behind him, she went about finishing as soon as possible. She washed her hands and bent over to splash some water on her face to see if that would get rid of the fogginess that she still felt.

She was fine until she straightened. She had to close her eyes as the wave of vertigo hit her. “Red.” And then he was there helping her to bed and she had tears in her eyes because she knew that everything was going to be alright. “I have you Lizzie. I’ll never let you fall.”

 

**Tbc…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much fluff? Let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz is so happy, but it doesn't last long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and sticking with this! You guys are amazing!  
> Disclaimed, as usual.

Liz’s wounds had healed, but she had extensive scarring on her back. She teased Red that they almost matched, but he didn’t find that humorous at all. He was still a bit touchy about her ‘death’, but was back to normal for the most part. She was proud of his resilience.

Liz, on the other hand, could barely function some days. It seemed being pregnant with Red’s child turned her into a nymphomaniac.

At first he refused, terrified of hurting her, but she stormed into her new Obstetrician’s office and demanded that someone tell him it was alright to have make love to her. Once he got passed his fear of hurting her or the baby, he was more than happy to oblige, but it was extremely difficult when he was gone all day. Over-night was torture. Thankfully, that hardly ever happened anymore as Red had turned over his less legitimate business pursuits to his associates. Choosing to remain a silent partner for a time before exiting completely.

When she asked why he replied “Crime is not something one quits cold-turkey if they want to survive.” And we, my dear, are going to survive-and successfully so, I might add.” She understood, but she worried about him ceaselessly when he was away.

She was entering her seventh month with no more complications. Her blood pressure was high sometimes, but it wasn’t so high that it caused any more issues. They monitored it closely.

A nurse, named Maggie, had been brought in to live with them for the foreseeable future. For now, she would monitor Liz for any complications with her blood pressure or general health issues. After the baby was born, she would stay on as a nanny, helping out with the baby and all of the added chores involved with that.

Although she worried about Red sometimes, she was blissfully happy in all other facets of their life. Red pampered her shamelessly, Maggie was becoming a very dear friend, and they had just finished shopping for all of the items that they would need for the first few months of their son’s life. She was unequivocally ecstatic with the life that they had carved out for themselves here.

*****

Liz and Maggie were having brunch out in the solarium while Red and Dembe went out for last minute business before the baby came. Her due date was two weeks away and she had been having intermittent Braxton-Hicks contractions for the past week. Red was afraid that she would go into labor early and wanted to finish up everything for the next few months.

Mr. Kaplan was in town buying groceries and would be home shortly.

The weather was looking pretty bad, with dark clouds rolling across the horizon as they ate. They didn’t have the extreme hurricanes or tornados that the states have, but from what Red had told her, severe thunderstorms were a possibility. They had yet to have one, so she wasn’t sure how ‘severe’ they actually were.

When they were finished eating, Maggie took their cleared plates to the kitchen.

Liz’s phone rang and she answered it without even looking who the caller was. “Yes, I’ve eaten and taken my vitamin. How is your day going?” No one answered her. She checked to make sure that it was Red, but the number had shown up as ‘Unknown’. “Hello? Hello!” Still no answer so she hung up.

Rain had started to beat against the windows of the solarium, so she struggled out of her chair and made her way into the interior of the house for the quiet needed to make a phone call.

She dialed Red and he answered on the fourth ring “Good morning sweetheart, did you take your vitamin? How are you feeling?” “Red? Did you just call me?”

He was immediately all business. “No, I didn’t. Tell me what happened.”

So she relayed the events of the phone call when all of a sudden the lights went out.

“Ugh. It’s going to be a long day. The storm just knocked the lights out.”

She moved back to the solarium to take advantage of what little natural light she could. She had no desire to trip and fall flat on her face. _Stupid castles and their lack of natural light._ “Lizzie, I need you to hide, now. Where are you? We’re on our way, but I won’t be able to reach you for quite a while. The lights are on an off grid back-up system. If they aren’t back on, it’s because someone cut the power. Hide, now.”

The tone of his voice frightened her “Red, it’s just a storm, we’re fine, Maggie is here somewhere, I’ll find her and we will be firmly entrenched in a candlelight card game by the time you return.”

His voice was a growl, yet raised in a yell “No Lizzie, you need to get out of sight. Pick a hiding place and stay there until we return. Now!”

In full panic mode, she moved back into the house and felt her way along the walls, away from the kitchen towards the cellar. Red had only showed her around once, but the layout was pretty basic, it was only used for wine, but there was a series of winding corridors that led to small storage rooms.

If she could make it to the catacombs, she would never be found unless she wanted to be.

As she found the stairs leading down to the cellar, a scream ripped through the house. Maggie was in trouble.

 

******

 

Red was beside himself with rage and fear as Dembe drove like a madman home. They were hours away from the estate. _Hours._ He called Kate. God, he hated this entire situation. He knew she was an expert cleaner, but she was no soldier. He didn’t want her hurt, but his wife and child took precedence over everyone, even himself.

He didn’t even wait for her to greet him “The house had been breached. Someone is in the house. I told Lizzie to hide, but her center of gravity is way off and she’s slowed down so much this week, I’m afraid-“

“Raymond! Be careful driving. If security hasn’t already taken care of the situation then I will handle it. Tell Dembe to slow down. You won’t be of any use to anyone if you die on your way here. Breathe deep, I will take care of your family.”

She hung up without saying good bye and he prayed to a god that abandoned him long ago to protect his family and hope beyond all hope, that he didn’t just send one of his most dear companions to her death.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Kaplan saves the day. Red finally finds lizzie, but realizes she is in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful reviews/messages/Kudos! You guys are the best!  
> Disclaimed, as usual.

Liz waited in her hiding place behind some dusty old boxes for what seemed like forever. She was so uncomfortable, her back hurt so badly. Although she tried to stay still, she constantly had to move her body. A few times she whimpered softly from the pain.

Her lip was bleeding from where she bit it in an attempt to keep quiet. She heard voices and movement on the floor above her, but no light from someone searching for her. No telltale creak of the stairs as someone came for her.

That also meant that Red hadn’t come for her yet. And Mr. Kaplan. Poor Mr. Kaplan was supposed to be home, but if the intruders discovered her before she could get away, they may harm her like they harmed Maggie.

She tried so hard not to cry, to stay strong, but her stupid hormones wouldn’t let her stop thinking that Maggie and Mr. Kaplan were both probably dead. And she had done nothing to save them.

Her blood pressure was probably sky high from fear. She was in pain, but the adrenaline rush was helping to control it. Her fight or flight reflex was in overdrive, the need to run to protect their baby was overwhelming. She had wedged herself in her hiding spot and couldn’t move to get out. She was stuck.

 

The longer she sat, the more intense the pain was. There was no denying it any longer; she was in labor.

One of the men came downstairs to quickly check for her, but he could see no trace of her and left to continue his search upstairs.

Her phone had no signal down here, but she could time her contractions, at least for a little while longer. Her phone was at ten percent on energy saving mode, so she had a few more minutes.

On a particularly devastating contraction, gun shots, dozens of them, sounded from in the house above her. If the good guys won, they would call out for her eventually. If not, then the bad guys would soon find her.

Her water had broken and she was out of time.

 

******

Red had come home to carnage. He counted a total of seven bodies along the way to find Lizzie. He wished he could yell out for her, but if there were any more left, they would know his position.

His worry was like a knife in his gut. It threatened to overwhelm him with every breath he took.

Gun at the ready, he swung around the corner to the kitchen to find Mr. Kaplan stitching up a cut on her arm. She had blood all over her arm and torso. “Jesus Kate, why didn’t you call? Where’s Lizzie?”

She continued her stitching, but nodded to the dead man behind him “I haven’t seen her, but he nicked an artery. I couldn’t bleed out and find Elizabeth at the same time. Well I could, but then if she needs help, I would be useless. Maggie is in the hall closet. She is drugged, not dead, but again, I had to take care of the bleeding.

Dembe rushed past them to find Maggie, but Red had other objectives. _Lizzie_ He had to find her.

“Were there only the seven?” I assume so, if there were more, they would have come for me. I’ve been done with them for over five minutes and have heard no sounds. I’d be careful just the same if I were you.”

“Of course, Kate. Dembe! Get Miss Maggie comfortable and then help me find Lizzie, if you could please. It will go faster if there were two of them.

If he were on the run, he’d go to high ground, but that was more of a military tactic. He tried to think of where she would go. Some place she normally wouldn’t in case the people looking for her knew her habits. _The catacombs._

He rushed down the stairs and searched every part of the cellar. Every room, every corridor…empty.

He sighed and moved back towards the stairs when he heard a noise. He froze. “Lizzie?”

Nothing at first, then “Red? Oh, god, please come here.”

She was hiding back past the winding halls and in a storage room. When he reached the rooms he called for her again.

She didn’t answer, but a scream echoed through the corridor. She had been right in front of him, but his panic increased tenfold when he couldn’t see her. “Lizzy? You win at hide and seek. You want to come out now sweetheart, or at least give me a clue as to your location?” He joked because he was so damned relieved that she was alive and alright.

“Red, I don’t have time for your sassy-pants routine! I am in pain!”

He turned on the light to the storage area and found her wedged in her hiding spot behind boxes and casks of liquor. “How on earth did you get back there?”

“I have not a damn clue. Adrenaline? Terror? Take your pick, but move stuff as you decide.”

He was frightened of her ‘in pain’ comment, but didn’t want to alarm her or cause her further distress by letting her know how worried he was.

Once the objects were moved, he took one look at Lizzie and realized how much trouble she truly was in.

“Oh, sweetheart…”

 

**Tbc…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz is in trouble. Red saves the day...as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it took so long to update this! I actually will have another chapter to post today to finish it up. Thank you for sticking with this, you guys are the best!  
> Disclaimed, as always.

Red rushed to her side and yelled out for Dembe as he scooped her up.

“I’m so sorry Red. My water broke. Maggie is dead and I think Mr. Kaplan might be too.” Tears ran down her cheeks from pain, from the helplessness at not helping her family.

“No. No, they are ok. They’re going to be fine. You have nothing to be sorry for. Maggie was just drugged and Mr. Kaplan is the one that took all of the scum out. She has a scratch, but she’ll be fine. I am so sorry that I left you here and couldn’t get beck any sooner.”

She was incredibly relieved, but she just cried harder. It had to be the hormones. Or it was the fact that Red was here, holding her in his arms. He smelled so wonderful, like home.

He paused at the top of the stairs “Dembe, oh good. I need you to follow us and prepare the bedroom.”

He bypassed the shorter route that would have led them past the bodies. They’d have to call in reinforcements he didn’t want them disposed of anywhere near here.

Mr. Kaplan must have been a boy scout in a past life because she believed in preparing for every medical situation that could arise. Thankfully, that included a home birth.

Dembe laid the mattress protector and sheets down while bringing in a stack of towels, blankets and the med kit. “Raymond, we need to talk.”

They shared a look and Red knew it wasn’t something he wanted Liz to know.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to get you some ice chips, I’ll be back in two minutes.”

She nodded, but looked worried “Ok, please hurry. It hurts so badly. I need you. We need you.”

Red followed Dembe to the hall, but when Dembe would have stopped to speak, Red walked towards the kitchen. “I’m on a mission. Whatever you need to say, get it out now. I need to get ready for the birth of my son.”

Dembe grabbed his arm. “Stop for a second. Mr. Kaplan has lost too much blood and is pale and shaking. Maggie has yet to wake up from the drugs they gave her. Neither of them will be of any assistance any time soon.”

Red paused, chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Well, I guess I’ll be delivering my son.” He was actually quite happy, having a front row seat for the birth of their baby would be magical.” He retrieved the ice and turned to Dembe, who just frowned at him “What?” “You know that Elizabeth is not going to be happy about this.”

“Dembe, you will come to understand that a woman who loves her husband would love for an opportunity to grow closer this way.”

Dembe just smirked and followed to get a view of the inevitable fireworks.

 

*****

 

“Absolutely not. I just won’t give birth I’ll –“She yelled “-just hold it in. No, that’s a great idea. I’ll just wait until Mr. Kaplan feels better and Maggie wakes up.”

Red’s shoulder’s shook with laughter. Dembe was right, now he’d never let Red forget it. “I’m pretty certain that’s not the way these things work. And what’s wrong with me?! I’ve certainly spent enough time down there, I know my way around. I have had medicinal training too remember?”

Pointing out how much time he’s spent worshiping the altar of her body was probably not the smartest statement to leave his mouth, but she was being unreasonable.

“You’ll never get that view again if you don’t call a damn doctor, right now, Red!”

Red sat down next to her, rubbing her leg to comfort her. He kept his voice low, soothing “We’re out of time, I’m afraid. The contractions are almost constant. It’s time to welcome our son into the world. Who better to do that than the two people that will love him the most?”

She grimaced in pain, face flushed “I know you think I’m crazy, but I don’t want you to… to watch me give birth. I don’t want you to think differently of my body afterwards.”

God he loved her. In his need to take control of the situation, he forgot to take her feelings into consideration. “If by different you mean even more in love because you’ve given me more than I could have ever hoped for, then yes, I’ll look at you differently.”

She gave him a small smile, grabbed his hand, and held it tight “Ok, let’s do this. I feel like I need to push.”

 

*****

 

Twenty five minutes later, Red and Liz welcomed their beautiful son to the world. Samuel Preston Reddington. He was beautiful. Red had cut the umbilical cord and cleaned them both up with the utmost of care. As if they could shatter at any moment.

As he handed her their son he had tears in his eyes. “Lizzie, you did such a wonderful job. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. You have given me hope and light in the darkness. For that, I will never have the words to convey how much you mean to me. You are the most powerful woman I have ever met and I will love and cherish you for the rest of my life.”

She sniffled “Oh, Red, I love you too. I am so glad that we did this together. I can’t think of having it any other way. I want next time to be just like this too.”

At her mention of a next time, his chest tightened up. He wasn’t sure if he would live through another birth. Watching her in pain, of being the cause of that pain, and then not being able to do anything about it was torture. “If that’s what you want sweetheart, then that’s how we’ll do it.” He knew that in the end, he could deny her nothing.

She put their son to her breast and after a moment of rooting around, he found his rhythm, and they both chuckled at how voraciously he suckled. Liz looked up at Red and grinned through her exhaustion “Like father, like son.”

Red huffed a laugh and said “Well, he does get it honestly.” He moved about the room, cleaning everything up. He couldn’t help but think that Mr. Kaplan was going to be so jealous. In her line of work, all she saw was death. He knew that the opportunity to bring forth life was one that she loved. Especially since she had no children of her own.

Raymond Reddington would be counting his lucky stars for the rest of his days. With the Cabal gone, and the Task Force’s cover up no one would be after his family. He would always be a wanted man with enemies on nearly every continent, but as long as he had this place, this haven, he would never ask for anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you and let me know what you think!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz has anxiety issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for now. I think. If any more plot bunnies pop up, I'll add them later. Thanks you for sticking with it!  
> Disclaimed as always!

_6 months later_

Liz jerked awake. She looked at the clock on the night stand only to find it was three in the morning.

Something felt wrong. She felt out the opposite of the bed to alert Red, but all she felt was the cooled sheets. He’d been gone for some time.

She looked at the baby monitor to make sure it was on. The power light was on, but no sounds were coming through, so the baby wasn’t awake.

She grabbed her gun out of the drawer of the bed side table and made her way into the hallway and moved towards Sammy’s room. Red could take care of himself. Sammy was her first priority.

Still silent, she rounded the corner to his room, only to find that Red had fallen asleep while holding. He reclined on the glider, cradling Sammy to him in such a loving display it made her chest ache.

Watching for countless minutes at the picture her husband and son made, she didn’t want to move. She never wanted this to end.

“You might want to put that gun away before Sammy sees it.” Red’s gravelly whisper startled her into moving just inside the bedroom.

Keeping her voice as low as possible she said “Why didn’t I hear Sammy when he woke up and why didn’t you wake me?”

“I was already up and I heard him making those adorable cooing noises when he stretches as he’s waking up so I figured I’d come and hold him so he’d sleep for a little while longer so you, then could sleep longer. Since you’re awake now, I’ll go get you a glass of water while you feed him.”

Red stood and gently laid Sammy in her arms. He gave her a lingering kiss on the lips, and then her forehead before he went to get her water.

She sat, rocking them slowly as she bared her breast and let Sammy take the lead. He was such a good eater. A good baby in general. It didn’t hurt that he was probably spoiled rotten. Red was so in love with him, always ready to take over parenting duties to give Liz a break. She couldn’t have asked for a better father for her child.

Red took parenting to a whole new level. Sammy was to see no sign of weapons in the house and security measures were in place that made their home safer than Fort Knox.

At first she teased Red for going over-board, but he was so visibly upset and his declaration of “I cannot lose you both. I simply cannot. If that means that you think I am being over protective, good, because I am. I will move heaven and earth to keep you safe.” brought tears to her eyes.

Red walked back into the room and paused, he loved watching her feed Sammy. He told her that “no portrait the great masters of the past or present could ever paint would rival the true beauty before him.” That man had a way with words that she swore made her ovulate every time he opened his mouth.

 

*****

She was so in love, so thankful for their time together that she grew so worried that something would happen to take it all away from her. Whenever Red would leave the house, she would have a panic attack. She had been able to hide them from Red thus far, but one day Dembe came back into the house and witnessed her gasping for breath on the verge of passing out. Sammy was upstairs sleeping and Dembe had no idea what was going on. He rushed to the door connecting the house to the garage and yelled “Raymond, Elizabeth needs you! Come!”

That’s all it took for Red to come sweeping into the room like an avenging angel, gun drawn. When he saw she hadn’t been attacked, he put away his weapon and rushed to her side.

He gathered her up in his arms, touching her as much as he could. He put his forehead to hers in an attempt to let their breaths mingle. His deep and calming. “Lizzie, baby, what’s the matter? I need you to breathe sweetheart. I need you to tell me what’s wrong”

He motioned for Dembe to go and check on Sammy.

Liz’s face had been so pale he feared she would lose consciousness. He continued to rub calming circles on her back and shoulders, his other hand smoothed the hair away from her face and cupped the back of her head. “That’s it sweetheart, that’s it. I’m here now. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Those words, the same that he had spoken to her so long ago, calmed her enough to take in a deeper breath. “Good job, Lizzie. Just breathe in, nice and deep. Listen to my voice. I’m not going anywhere, alright? I’ll stay here and we can play, maybe let Sammy sit on his new swing? Take a walk? It’s up to you. I’ve been spending too much time away from home and I’m going to fix that.”

Slowly, she returned to normal. “God, Red I’m so sorry you had to see that. I’m fine, really. I swear.”

His face darkened into a frown “Has this happened before, Lizzie? If you’ve been having problems you should have told me.”

She was mad at herself for her weakness and took it out on Red “I should have what? Told you that I’m so anxious that every time you leave the house it’s minutes before I can function normally? No thank you. It’s bad enough that you witnessed it. I am so embarrassed. I am not that woman, Red. I am not that needy woman that is so dependent on her husband that she loses all sense of self!”

He just hugged her tighter “Oh, Lizzy, I think you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. There have been so many changes this past year. Anyone would be overwhelmed. You’re such a wonderful mother. You do so much for us, take on too much. You hardly have time to sleep and recharge. I think we should bring Maggie back, at least part time so that you won’t have so much to do.”

She felt like a failure. Maggie still lived close to them, but Liz had wanted to do everything for the baby while still taking care of the house. That was a lot of work, but her anxiety came from Red leaving. Even though all of his business interests were legitimate, she worried that someone from his past would show up one day and all of her dreams would be gone in a puff of smoke.

She was willing to admit that with Maggie present, she could take a moment for herself occasionally. Maybe even sneak some alone time in with Red.

“I think you are right. It would be lovely to have an opportunity to just…breathe. I would love to see Maggie again.”

Maggie was her only female friend. She had been by to visit, but Liz was always so busy, that they really hadn’t had time to really get together.

“Good then it’s settled. I’ll give Maggie a call later on today. For now, I just want to hold you. You have this deplorable habit of scaring me half to death, Lizzie, and we need to stop that because I plan on being around for the sequel. Alright?”

She nodded against him, but no answer was really needed. Red was so comforting, so warm and welcoming, that it wasn’t long before she dozed off against him. Once again, she felt like all was right in her world.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and Kudos let me know if I'm still doing ok. And it makes my day brighter. You guys are effing rock stars and I love our ship!


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